jfs: (boy with cat)
[personal profile] jfs
Some people seem to know what they want to call their kid; I'm paralysed by indecision.

I'm not so worried about matching their name to their personality. At the point we're legally obliged to put something to paper, I'm fully expecting young babba's personality to manifest as either cute, vomiting, burping or pooing. Or all 4. Babba will grow into a name (or names - I'm a big fan of middle names for that reason.)

But names are important. So we're pouring through baby names books, one alphabetical chapter at a time. And each name has to be tried against our surnames to make sure it sounds okay when said aloud. It has to have the 'what do the initials make?' test, and pass the 'what's the worst nickname we can think of?' barrier - which, it has to be said, has lead to some hilarious and somewhat disgusting conversations in the car on the way to visit family. I'm so proud ...

One of the problems I've got at the moment is LRP - specifically, how does one tell a non-geek partner that calling the child 'Elspeth' would just be too weird? William, Benedict, Arthur - all have associations. (I've not suggested Jarane - it wouldn't be appreciated). Can't go for Alexander / Alexandra (my all time favourites), because, well, we're not having a Junior in the family. (Is it still Junior if the daughter is named after the mum?) Alix's male family name is 'John' and we've been roundly forbidden from that (her dad, her uncle, her cousin, her grandad, me. That's a whole lot of Johns for someone who only has 4 living male relatives ...).

So - at the point that a lot of the pregnant couples we know are saying 'We've narrowed it down to our top 5 for each sex' we're able to say 'We have a huge list of names we don't want the child to have, and a whole list of disagreements - she likes Reginald, I'd rather not have a Reggie. I like Mary (for family reasons) - Alix can only think of 'Of Scots' and given her love for Queen Elizabeth (both varieties) I'm not going to win that battle.

So what did you do?

Date: 2016-01-16 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misspotsitt.livejournal.com

If it makes you feel any better Withers and Kirsty feel the same. They know they are having a boy but cannot decide.

My parents gave us all names with 7 letters.

Date: 2016-01-16 05:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com
We deliberately chose not to know the sex. So twice the fun!

Was there a particular reason for 7 letters?

Date: 2016-01-16 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misspotsitt.livejournal.com
No. It was an accident to start with and then they carried on with it.

Nothing sensible to say really

Date: 2016-01-16 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
Elizabeth or Alexander Scott-Roe/Roe-Scott are excellent names, they sound like the first Brits to walk on the surface of Enceladus or something!

Creating a list of names with the right tone was something many of my parenting friends pondered very seriously. From what I gather, time spent with the newcomer seems to underline the perfect name on or off the list... Someone described it as a 'Goldilocks' Porridge' moment, when the parents looked at each other and felt that a certain name was just right.

So excited for you!

Re: Nothing sensible to say really

Date: 2016-01-16 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com
Scott-Roe - we have decided that much :-)

The political issue with Elizabeth is that it's Alix's mum's name. We both like it, but then do we need to put my mum's name (or one of them) in the mix?

Mum is Mary Theresa Edith (and goes by Edith, because she doesn't like the first two).

Hmmm. Wonder if I can get an okay on Elizabeth Edith Scott-Roe .... :-)

(Or is Edith now going to be hugely popular because of Downton!? You see my dilemma!)

Re: Nothing sensible to say really

Date: 2016-01-17 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
I do see your dilemma but must say...

E.E.Scott-Roe! Class!

And if none of the variants on Elizabeth pleased her, she could always be chic as Edie Scott-Roe!

These are lovely ideas to discuss aren't they? :-)

Date: 2016-01-16 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feetnotes.livejournal.com

- allectra ?

- bathsheba?

- cain?

- damian?

- ethelred?

- faustus?

- grimnir?

- hodur?

- iatrogene?

- jacaranda?

- knut?

- lugubria?

- miasma?

- nutramel?

- oophelia?

- perdita?

- quornucopeia?

- retrospectre?

- sanitateion?

- tristram?

- uvulea?

- vertigeneia?

- wallabye?

- xenophilia?

- yokahoma?

- zacharius?

(- yr hmbl srppint. here runs out of snow^H^H^H steam.°)

Edited Date: 2016-01-16 05:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2016-01-16 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com

-ppint who used to be on USENET back in the day?

Date: 2016-01-17 01:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feetnotes.livejournal.com

- yup, the very same (for my sins°)°°...

Date: 2016-01-16 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
I didn't find it all that difficult. I love Lewis Carroll so my daughter had to be Alice- no question, no dithering (she told me the other day that she's never got round to reading the books)

I was a Christian minister at the time- and for the next two- who turned out to be boys- I wanted Biblical names that weren't too weird and could be shortened attractively- so we fixed on Michael and Joseph- Mike and Joe. I suppose my wife must have had some input too but I'm not sure what it was.....

Date: 2016-01-16 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] renniek.livejournal.com
We agreed that just as with choosing a house, we both had an unconditional veto to rule out any option for any reason at all. The only name we both really liked was Arthur; job done. Took a while of trawling through baby name books, but the actual decision was easy - only one name felt right. I think you'll know it when you find it.

Date: 2016-01-16 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] renniek.livejournal.com
PS Huge congratulations! I've only recently ventured back onto LJ after several years absence (during which we've had a baby, who's fantastic and is 2 on Thursday) so this is the first I've heard of your happy news

Date: 2016-01-16 11:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com
Thank you. We've only just started talking about it really. And I've been off Livejournal as long as you have :-)

Date: 2016-01-17 09:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yapman.livejournal.com
We went in to the delivery room with 4 (2 boy, 2 girl) for Samuel (although I spotted he was a boy on the ultrasound, I somehow managed to keep up the pretence we didn't know), and came to a decision shortly after he was born, which Viki promptly forgot when she was wheeled upstairs, to the amusement of many midwifes.

I had one friend who took a month _after_ the birth to make their mind up. It's a fun game, there's no rush. Take your time.

Date: 2016-01-17 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com
We wrote down all the family names on each side back through a couple of generations, then we also wrote down all the names that either of us even remotely liked from lists. Any that either of us disliked or just didn't work with our surnames or spelt rude things as initials we crossed out. Then we tried out the names we had left in a variety of settings (author, athlete, chair of the board, plumber, super-secret-identity etc) to see if they broadly worked, and if they didn't we crossed those out too. This made for a reasonably short list.

We had narrowed down to probably Eloise for a girl, then she was born and was definitely not an Eloise, so she was little frog for a while until we settled on Marnie.

You get up to 6 weeks after they are born before they have to be registered, and you might be surprised what qualities you can see in that time. It's a fun thing to pick the three adjectives that you think best describe them when they are little. M's are still accurate.

Naming is important. Apart from anything else, you are going to be saying the name a lot, in a variety of different tones of voice over the next many years.

Date: 2016-01-18 07:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com
Your last point is especially important :-)

Date: 2016-01-18 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pauln.livejournal.com
Middle names are also important in that respect. There's a big difference in tone and usage between Abi/Abigail and "Abigail Beth!!"

We'd sort of fixed on Abi's name very early, then wandered round various other possibilities so we had some options in case of the "not an Eloise" situation, Cam describes. When she arrived, she was very clearly an Abi - this helped lots by knowing two Abis who are both lovely. The options also gave us a starting point for the second, though in the end we settled on something different there. We were still discussing Caitlin Rose on the way to the registry office to make sure we were happy with it and in honesty it's a name she's grown into.

But generally what others have said - allow yourselves vetos for no apparent reason. Be prepared to re-visit those. Enjoy exploring.

Oh, and if Alix is suggesting Elspeth and you don't automatically feel you should veto it, why not? You may get a bit of ribbing, but if the name fits the child go with it.

Date: 2016-01-19 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jul1et.livejournal.com
we too made a list of names we didn't want Josh to have for varying reasons - whether it was bad associations, potential name calling when he was older, no biblical names, and we pretty much settled on William as a front runner.

Once we saw him, however he was just Josh. Definitely not a William. So for us, in the end, the list was utterly academic :D

Date: 2016-01-20 09:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] s0b.livejournal.com
We had a few ideas, but didn't know until after he'd arrived.

My favourite exercise was coming up with all of the names we *wouldn't* use

Date: 2016-01-22 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maeve-the-red.livejournal.com
Bloody hell, I missed the bit where you announced impending dad-hood. Congratulations!

Date: 2016-01-23 10:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com
Thank you - I think you might have been cruising at the time :-)

Date: 2016-01-29 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ephraim.livejournal.com
We settled on Carpaccio and Spatula as names for our un-sexed child. Then bottled it when the time came. As the one that was sent to register the little bean, she almost ended up as an official Isabella Lucy Spatula Shockley.

We chose Isabella thinking that it would be rare (and thinking about Spanish queens), but neither of us had come across Twilight, and now she is one Izzy of very many. Lucy we chose cos we liked the way it sounded with her first name

Date: 2016-02-12 10:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hortorum.livejournal.com
LTTP but...

We triple checked for unfortunate acronyms, how well the name lent itself to sing-song kiddy mocking repetition and being shortened.

Can't go wrong with Biblical names... although maybe not Deuteronomy Scott...

(Middle name was easy for us, family tradition on my side and a debt of honour)

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